Back in Canada

Saying goodbye to Yoselina: a hug of true love.

So I made it back onto Canadian soil - much to the relief of my parents and grandmother!  It is weird being back.  It almost seems like time could have stood still while I was in a dream world.  Sure Guatemala is not perfect but there is something almost magical there - I guess you could call that God.  God was just so present in my life while I was there.  I grew an amazing passion not only for the people of Guatemala but also for my Lord and Savior.  I felt completely at home.  I felt like I belonged there.  Like I could make a true difference.  And also like I could be impacted.  
Life is too busy in Canada.  People are worried about everything - preoccupied with the pace of life.  Don't get me wrong, Canada is an amazing country and one that we are definitely blessed to live in, but something is not quite right.  We don't know what it means to say that we fully rely on God or that God provides for all our needs.  We make the excuse of not having enough time instead of making it our first priority to set time aside with the Lord.  I have learned a lot while I was gone and now need to try and apply it to my life back in Canada.  I know I need to be more plugged in with church and core groups in Canada.  I know that I need to be more committed to serving rather than doing the tasks.  I want to live my life here in a way as similar and in tune with God as it was in Guatemala.
Things are different.  I don't know how it is all going to work out.  But I do know that God has a purpose for me being back at home.  Guatemala was a boot camp for my real mission field at home.  Canada is hungry for God but we just don't know it as we fill that hunger with void and empty things.  I want my life to truly be a light in the darkness.  I am going to be different.  I am not going to be okay with mediocre or try and justify the things of this world.  The Spirit is offensive to the flesh.  I do not want to live in the flesh at all.  I want the Spirit to lead me.  I want to be fully into God.  I want to be a servant here in my community, among my friends and coworkers.  But most of all, I don't just want to want these things.  It can't end with me wanting.  I am asking the Lord to show me opportunities in which I can serve.  I am different and strive for my life to show God all the honor and glory and in turn be contagious to others.
It would be easy for me to sit here and list all the things that are wrong with Canada - with the North American dream.  But instead, I want to focus on the good.  To see where God is working.  To see His love and beauty.  To follow the words of Philippians 4:4-8:
Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
May this be are goal.  Not to worry but put complete trust in God.  And to focus on the things of Him.

Blessings and love,
Rebecca

And just so you all know, I don't plan on this being anywhere close to my last blog.

Dios Ha Sido Bueno

Dios ha sido bueno.  God has been good.  After patiently awaiting for April's team, they arrived late in the afternoon and I got a hug that I had been longing to receive.  It was so great to be able to see a piece of home again.  Although I have not felt overwhelmingly homesick, that hug was fabulous (and made me really excited to be able to hug the rest of my family and friends).  However, that time is coming too soon.  Tomorrow is my last full day here in Tactic.  But thankfully with the team here it has been busy so I haven't had time to be depressed about leaving this amazing place that I now can call home.
With the team here I have still been working in the clinic but have also been involved with the team.  They held Vacation Bible School in Impact's after school program in San Antonio.  I was privileged to be able to attend one day and help out.  The children were all so thankful and happy with everything that was offered.  I know VBS really impacted a lot of the students on April's team, including April.  I have been praying really hard for this team and that God would completely open and change their hearts.  One evening Les led the debrief and talked about surrendering everything to Jesus - that we cannot live our lives for ourselves.  By the end of the night there was not a dry eye in the room.  Before the team got here for some reason I had the idea that I would be helping them, God had taught me so much.  But God had other plans in mind.  He broke me down and I just am learning to fall more in love with Him.  I started crying that night at first when I saw how God was working in April's life and then I just really cried out to the Lord and asked Him to continue break me down and rebuild me for Him.  Throughout the time that April's team has been here, I have been feeling the Lord speak to me about pursuing my nursing further and becoming a nurse practitioner.  I have heard this through people on the team and also during prayer.  If I become a nurse practitioner, I cannot even begin to imagine the possibilities that could lie ahead for me here in Guatemala for the future.
This morning I woke up over an hour before my alarm was going to go off and felt the Lord nudging me.  Telling me that this was our time together.  I hadn't journalled much since the team has been here as I have been so exhausted by the end of the day.  My own time has disappeared.  But this morning was amazing.  I read my Bible and wrote my desires and prayers to the Lord.  These lyrics came to mind and kept repeating themselves: Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul.  I love for you alone.  Every breath that I take, every moment I'm awake, Lord have Your way in me.  I want my life to live out these words.  I want to live for God every moment of my life.  Something happened this week that annoyed me.  I ended up having to go to Chicoy sinkhole as there were a lack of leaders along and it is a really spiritual experience.  The sinkhole is a place of Mayan worship and is truly a heavy spiritual place.  So instead of going to the clinic I got driven to meet the team.  I was annoyed and frustrated.  But then I realized that I shouldn't be.  God has other plans in store.  It wasn't just a coincidence that I was going.  I prayed that I would be there to be able to comfort and speak God's truth to the kids who needed it.  That God would use me for His will and just fill me with His love and joy.  That prayer changed my outlook.  The experience was so moving.  While we entered I was able to encourage a few of the girls that God is so much bigger than anything that could possibly be in the sinkhole.  We believe in an all-powerful and all-loving God.  Yes, darkness is real.  But we know something greater.  Then after exploring a little in the sinkhole, we gathered together and started worshiping the Lord.  During the time of exploring, a witchdoctor had entered the sinkhole with two of his clients.  We worshiped God in spirit and truth and I know that the witchdoctor knew that something greater than he could ever do was present in that place.  He didn't start anything until we left and they watched us worship.  We were asked to get into the position we would go in if we were in front of our Lord.  Although we were in a dirty, soot-covered sinkhole, I went to my knees and just reached my arms to the Lord.  This trip I definitely have learned a lot about worship and have gained so much from it.  The Lord is good and has amazing plans in store for those He loves.  He can do so much more than we can even begin to imagine and He can free those people from the bondage they are in.  He can free the people of Guatemala from this darkness.  And He already has and is in the process of doing it.  He is good and He will free His people!
Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit April's new sponsor child, my grandma's sponsor child, and Yoselina and her family again.  It was a really special day.  While we were in Yoselina's home, God's presence was so evident.  That family is so filled with His love and goodness.  Despite their circumstances, they bought us all cookies and pop and just enjoyed their time with the group.  When I first arrived, Yoselina sprinted into my arms and definitely beat her last hug - she gave me the best hug ever.  She wouldn't let go of me the whole time.  God has been in every moment I have had with her.  I told her I loved her so much and would be praying for their family every day.  She almost started crying when I told her I was leaving soon and wouldn't see her again until hopefully next year.  If I had only met Yoselina and her family during my time here, this trip would have been worth it.  I love them.  God has shown Himself through them to me and what true gratitude to Him means.

God has been so good, so good.
I love you.  God bless you and see you soon.
Rebecca

Surrounded by His Beauty

This past week a lot of amazing things happened.  I was invited to go to El Salvador with Cathie and Walter.  El Salvador is absolutely beautiful.  We stayed in a lovely home on the beach.  I was able to relax, reflect, and just rest in God.  It was such a blessing.  

When they invited me to go with them I immediately thought of Soraya my sponsor through Compassion Canada.  I started sponsoring her 5 years ago at a youth conference in Edmonton, Alberta.  How amazing it would be if I could see her on this trip too!  Meeting your sponsor child truly makes a difference and I couldn't begin to imagine the blessing it would be to meet her.  I had emailed Compassion Canada at the beginning of the year saying I would be in Guatemala and if I had the chance to go to El Salvador that I would love to see her.  I got a huge email in reply about all the things that needed to be done before this could occur and because I had no idea how possible it would be to go there, I gave up on the idea.  So after looking back at the email I realized she lived in the surrounding area where we would be staying!  I did not know if they would allow me to see her since I did not apply and hand in any of the forms but it was worth a try, right?  Their email back was discouraging.  I felt that God placed us close together for a reason but they made it seem like a meeting would be almost impossible.  They told me if I did not hear back from them before I left that it would not work out.  I asked God to take away my discouragement and for His will to be done in this situation.  So although disappointed, I accepted that I would not get to see Soraya.  As we did not have Internet at the beach (which was really freeing), I did not think about the situation again.  I was enjoying my time at the beach with amazing people.  I was spending a lot of time in the Word and truly was finding rest.  Then Wednesday we went into town as we needed groceries and we stopped at an Internet Cafe.  After sending Mom an email saying I was alright and sending Monica a graduation message, I decided to check my other email account since I had extra time.  I was not expecting anything from Compassion and much to my excitement, and almost confusion, I had 4 emails from them in my inbox.  Although it was last minute, they were able to arrange a meeting.  This is a little excerpt from their email:

 It turns out that Soraya's mother is no longer interested in sending Soraya to the Compassion program and would like to take her out. This sometimes happens when families are interested at first when their child is first enrolled in the program and then do not want to continue with the commitment that is required.

The El Salvador representative and project director both feel that this opportunity for you to visit with Soraya has been God-ordained, as your visit and encouragement to Soraya and her mother, may be just what is needed so that she will continue with the Compassion program.

It turns out that Soraya has a little sister that lives with their grandmother, who is very interested and supportive of Compassion's work, but Soraya lives with her mother, who is the one who is not interested. This is the time to pray and PRAY HARD, that God will soften Soraya's mother's heart and that she will be encouraged by your desire to make this personal connection with her daughter this week. We do not know who will come along as Soraya's guardian for the visit - it may be her mother, grandmother or someone else from the project. Right now, this is all in God's hands.

Wow, was I overwhelmed and grateful to God.  Here I was wanting to meet Soraya to build a little connection with her so I would remember her better and be able to pray for her in a new way, but instead God was arranging something much bigger.  Praise God, He works in amazing ways!  I met Soraya, her mother, and the project director at the Children's Museum in San Salvador.  Soraya turned out to be a very shy 12 year old so although it was awesome to see her, I found it hard to make a connection.  After thinking about it, I realized that it would be overwhelming to a) meet your sponsor, b) travel to San Salvador, a big city, when you live in a rural, small town, and c) be in a museum with planes, trains, science etc. when you have never experienced anything like it before.  So although she was quiet, I built a connection.  Her mother was so grateful that I was able to come and spend this time with her.  She said I was a blessing.  And after discussing a few things, Soraya and her mother promised us that she would stay in the program!  God works in mysterious ways.  A trip that was planned last minute with a last minute meeting turned out to be life changing.  He really is amazing!  I am so grateful to God for I know that without Him none of that would have occurred.  

A beautiful reminder of God's promises and love

So I am back in Tactic, refreshed and excited because of my Lord.  I have 1.5 weeks left in Guatemala and have no idea where the time has gone.  I am excited to see everyone again but have no idea how it will be back in Canada.  I am preparing myself for a huge reverse culture shock.  But before I worry about that, April will be meeting me!  In a couple days she will be here experiencing the amazing things I have been able to experience.  I pray that her life with be changed as mine has.

Many blessings and much love. 

Rebecca